I wish I could talk to my mom tonight.
I've never said it before, not once,
in the four years she's been gone.
I wonder what she'd have to say
about the world, about the virus.
I miss being a daughter.
The needing her is so strong right now,
I'm overwhelmed.
It's been that kind of day.
I know it will pass,
but there's nothing I can think of
that would help as much as talking
with her, seeing her beautiful face,
holding her strong hands in my own,
right now, tonight.
3 comments:
I really understand your feelings Marianne. My Mom passed ten years ago. I have a photo of her on my desk, and Yes, speak to her often. We were not close while I was growing up, far more antagonistic. But I moved back here to help out in her declining years and we were both changed by the closeness.
Elizabeth
Elizabeth: I think it's safe to say that Mothers and Daughters share a complicated relationship. I grew up in a family where the patriarchy ruled. My father & I clashed constantly as I chafed at his too strict rules. I always felt my mother should have taken my part once in a while. I couldn't possibly have ALWAYS been wrong, but she never did. I'll never forget our last visit. Mom was at home, in a hospital bed, clearly dying. Although I held her hand in mine, we didn't speak (I silently cried). All at once, she cocked her head, looked directly at me, and said these words I'll never forget: You look kind of stupid. Wow. And then she didn't speak to me again. And died a few days later. What a painful memory. I do miss her. But the ache that other friends feel at the loss of a mother, just isn't present for me. And THAT makes me sadder than anything.
A painful write, Marianne. I can relate on some levels with both of you ladies, in that, my relationship with my mom was strained, until she became elderly and in a nursing home. Then we began to do some healing. My mom passed away in 2004.
Love,
Pammy
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