Brenda at the Sunday Whirl gave us more new wordle words:
rack * quivering * birdlike * studded
pallid * women * hordes * blooms
crawl * bar * hitch * goof
After Last Call
Across the bar-studded city,
hordes of lonely women
crawl out tavern doors at closing,
blowsy blooms long past prime.
No one to take them home, racked
with defeat, quivering from
rejection, they fall into identical
unmade beds in indistinguishable
rooms. Pallid opportunities
float through disappointed dreams.
14 comments:
Aww... that's sad, but beautifully written.
Marianne, this is sad truth for many people. Your short piece captures their circumstance brilliantly. The last sentence says it all.
Yes, true and sad for its truth, lots of lonely people but at least these ones have the nerve to still go out and look. :)
Lovely prose.
Lean, spare, and rather depressing--which, I think, is what it is meant to be.
My Wordle 20
Sad truth, well done.
Marianne, a very sad truth for too many women. Captured perfectly with your write.
Pamela
"Across the bar-studded city,
hordes of lonely birdlike women
crawl out tavern doors at closing,"
Such vivid descriptions give this piece its power and sense of pathos.
Very well wordled, I really liked what you did with the words.
Harsh truth and a bitter reality!!
Ah yes, your women have a similar 'flavor' to the one in my wordle. Probably the same bar!
We've managed to paint some vivid scenes of the barroom lifestyle, haven't we? From my geeky pool player to the poor girls ravaged by drunken perverts to the lonely women seeking companionship, we've explored the theme quite a bit.
Well wordled, Marianne. :)
An extremely sad but well written piece.
The sadness and loneliness screams out from words like, 'No one to take them home, racked with defeat, quivering with rejection, they fall into identical unmade beds'
A wonderful read - thanks.
Concise.
It's like some surreal movie with tens of rows of the same black and white image running through the slow, depressed steps.
neat work.
I'm beginning to think that these poor creatures really exist. Now, is a barroom considered in the wild or in captivity?
incredible and power images here. Love it.
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