New wordle words from Brenda at The Sunday Whirl:
scrape, tongue, brittle, austere,
barnacles, drenched, chalk, flinty,
blur, burnished, cocoon, rough
The Way of The World
Eleven chimed,
the future blurred
and time stopped.
Flinty sky was
scraped clear of stars,
chalk-drenched moon
was abruptly obscured,
blazing sun, a burnished gold cocoon,
was tightly barnacled to the firmament.
Almost immediately,
the clock began ticking again.
Hands moved, chimes chimed,
life exploded in all it's glorious splendor:
earthy and brittle, sweet and sassy,
an austere mix of elegant and rough,
good and evil, success and failure.
Yet she knew without a doubt,
something important was missing.
Process Notes:
This poem started out in one place, then did a 180 turn and went in a different direction. I was worried about fitting in barnacle, and tongue was impossible! Will continue to work on this one.
14 comments:
I loved the progression of this poem all the way to its richly effective ending, which took me by surprise and made me wonder....
Such a vivid and exquisite piece. I ,too, like the ending.
Same here; made me wonder what happened in that instant where everything stopped. The sun being barnacled to the firmament is a terrific image; great use of the wordle and that word in particular. Didn't even notice the missing word until you pointed it out; the poem doesn't need it.
How exciting that you used barnacled as a verb! I love an interesting twist on usage. It's my favorite use of one of the words so far today. This is an intelligent write, Marianne. Precise language drives the feeling of the universal you capture. That last line is a doozy. Brava!
I too really like the way it progresses through from time stopping, and then exploding and continuing on again. Some really lovely imagery in all of this. Didn't notice the missing word either.
very strong imagery, love the idea of time stopping then life flooding back in.
This reminds me of a Twilight Zone episode. That something missing...
But then it could also be a fable or a fairy tale with a happy ending!
...the dogs' tongue allowed him to pant as he waited for the moment to pass as his master paused in perplexed hesitation...
(just what I thought of nothing you have to use).
My offering is here:
http://julesgemsandstuff.blogspot.com/2012/05/lasting-last-laughs-sunday-whirl-58.html
Great use of the word "barnacle", Marianne. Well wordled.
Pamela
Yes Marianne - I agree with all .. you managed beautifully to have everyone wondering! :)
I loved the way the poem progresses. Beautiful ending...
discontent
"The flinty sky was
scraped clear of stars,
the chalk-drenched moon
was abruptly obscured,"
I love this portion!!
It was as though this poem had places to go and took you along for the ride. You held on well!
I love the way you used 'barnacled' -- such a strong clear image, along with these:
Flinty sky was
scraped clear of stars,
chalk-drenched moon
Brava!
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