New wordle words from Brenda at The Sunday Whirl:
split, bruise, crumple, draw,
burst, pierce, crash, chisel,
crouch, glow, edge, beat.
On The Edge
Chiseled stone lions
crouch beside concrete steps.
Bruised rose petals flutter;
she stows a crumpled
handful in her pocket.
Her heart beats like
crashing thunder;
nightingales sing,
atoms split, bubbles burst.
She hears the sun shine,
she feels the universe
glow with piercing brilliance.
She watches until everything
is beautiful and regret fades.
16 comments:
Very vivid description here, Marianne. I don't know if I am off base or on target, but I picture someone who has just had a heart attack.
Here's my wordle:
http://inthecornerofmyeye.blogspot.com/2012/06/too-late.html
Beautiful. It gave me an image of Trafalgar Square in London. Of the huge lions and concrete steps beside them. Wonderful imagery.
Powerful, emotive... especially the ending.
I've always wanted a pair of concrete lions. LOL There's a story there, but it's true. This is why I love this piece. The lions pulled me into it. I also wondered if anyone else would use the word "heart." It demanded my attention with these words. Interesting. Love your work, my friend. Love it!
Beautiful lines, Marianne.
I thought of the lions sitting outside the library in NYC...It is supposed to be lucky to have a pair of Chi-chi lions outside ones home - but only if they are gifted. I have a small pair but they are too small to be left outside and weathered.
I see your gal almost as one who is cleaning up after a parade the day before...
Thanks for your kind words and visit.
Great poem... and the ending is terrific.
The lions reminded me of the NYC Library, as well. The lions do command something as an opening image. But, when you had her collect the rose petals, I thought of Budapest, and the brides and grooms who would go to national monuments to have their photographs taken.
She hears the sun shine,
She watches until everything
is beautiful and regret fades.
Love these three lines. Filled with her intensity.
Marianne, the pair of lions immediately reminded me of NYC library also. The image of her stowing the rose petals is so beautiful. Nice write.
Pamela
It's funny - I guess you relate to the lions you're most familiar with and mine guard the entrance to Edmonton's Chinatown - you're supposed to rub the ball in their mouth for luck ... and we do, we do.This is a lovely wordle with the words woven seamlessly ... good on you.
http://leapinelephants.blogspot.ca/2012/06/deep-tissue-bruising.html
For me, the lions said library too; I had no idea which library, just knew there were books involved. :)
I like the hopeful ending of this one. Very evocative and uplifting.
strong, vivid setting, enough vague to keep us wondering. Love the ending; how long must some of us watch to reach that point.
Bruised rose petals flutter;
she stows a crumpled
handful in her pocket.
I just love this all sensory image here, Marianne! Great writing!!
This is gorgeous. Especially love "bruised rose petals" and "She hears the sun shine." Wonderful turns of phrase.
de
www.whimsygizmo.wordpress.com
Love the ending:
"She watches until everything
is beautiful and regret fades."
Thought I would see if I could catch up on wordeles I missed last week. I see you have this weeks done as well.
Your concrete lions perked up my interest. I have a pair. Very small, outside the front porch door. There are two rose bushes below on the steps. I was waiting for you to start describing my house.
Your last line ties the whole poem together. Well done.
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